Lines from Linda

Making Time

The big problem with attempting to keep New Year’s resolutions is that January 1st falls smack dab in the middle of the holidays...

(Note: Today's post is over at Overweight & Underorganized. To finish reading, please visit that site. Thanks!)

Wish Me Luck! (Please?)

Those of you who know me well, know that I'm not particularly adventurous. Canoing in still, shallow waters with life vest in tact is about as daring as my life gets, so I'm a bit nervous about my latest undertaking.

I'm launching a column. That's right. Me, whose comfort zone is 15 inches from my Mac's monitor, will shortly be sending out query packets to 1oo newspaper editors scattered throughout Arkansas and a few neighboring states. Probably on Monday, if I finish updating the first volley's database this weekend.

The column, which some of you are familiar with, is Overweight & Underorganized. During the past few weeks, I've totally re-designed the web site, polished four sample columns, developed a "Creator/Client" contract, written a query letter, designed a one sheet, and developed a database, which is "not quite" ready for the mail merge. I also designed a logo, letterhead, and matching return address labels. It's been a lot of work, but a lot of fun, too.

I hope this launch goes well, because I dropped out of NaNoWriMo to prepare for it. If you have time, I'd love for you to stop by Overweight & Underorganized and let me know what you think of the columns. When I wiped the site's brain of the old design, I (oops!) lost the old comments, so now my posts are commentless. I'd be so grateful if my cyberfriends would take a few minutes to read a post or two and leave some sort of positive (or not) remark in order to impress potential subscribers. No bribes, just a request for those who may be incredibly bored this weekend.

You can peek at the One Sheet on the OU web site by clicking on the "Media" tab. If you'd like to see this column in your local newspaper, please contact me and I'll send a packet to your editor.

Thanks so much for your help & support during my new endeavor!

Crossing the Finish Line

Whew! It's November 30, and I managed to post each and every day this month during the National Blog Posting Month challenge. Unfortunately, I didn't do as well at NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month).

I changed gears mid-month and decided I wanted to self-syndicate my humor column, Overweight & Underorganized, before the end of the year, so I spent most of my time over the past few weeks polishing columns, designing the Web Site, writing a query letter, designing a logo, letterhead, and developing a database of editors I want to submit to. That's another "whew!" as I'm nearly finished with the prep work. Hopefully the first 100 submission packets will go in the mail Monday.

I've enjoyed this month of blog posts. On the days nothing major was happening in my life, I researched the date to see what sort of happenings had occurred and wrote about them. A ran across a lot of interesting information and picked one thing to post about each day. Of course, during the final days of the month, the Arkansas Razorbacks blessed me with tons of blog material. The head coach resigned, the basketball team emerged as a force to be reckoned with, and rumor has it that a new football coach has been agreed upon and that fans are to expect an announcement over the weekend. Sorry, Auburn!

Tips for Avoiding the Scale

I've been rubbing elbows with Dan Marino. Well, not in person, but I recently joined Nutrisystem, and, yes, I've actually lost weight. Twelve pounds in two and a half weeks as a matter of fact. However, it has come to my attention that we're only supposed to weigh in once per week. Now I've been drawn to my scale like metal shavings to a magnet, so I've devised a list of ways to avoid the thing between weigh-ins. Hopefully, you'll find this list as helpful as I have:

• Using self-hypnosis, associate in your subconscious the word "cooties" with your bathroom scale. Ew!
• Hire an armed guard to shoot weigh-day violators on site.
• Toss the scale to the annoying neighbor kids and tell them to play keep away with it. When you tire of hearing their "nanny-na-na-boo-boo" taunts as you desperately attempt to retrieve your scale, tell the armed guard you saw one of the little tykes sneak a peek at their weight.
• Kidnap the neighborhood pit bull--you know, the one that terrorizes you on your daily trek to the mailbox--and chain it to your scale.
• Wrap crime scene tape around the corner of your bathroom where the scale resides and refuse to enter the area until the CSI team arrives.
• Rig your scale with a whoopee cushion.
• Have the local electronics shop wire your scale with an alarm that shouts "Step Away from the Scale" when touched on any day except your designated weigh-in day.
• Connect your scale into your electric fence's circuit and fire it up.
• Phone the scale prevention hot line whenever you feel the urge to weigh before your scheduled day.
• In the spirit of community development's "Clean It, Green It, or Screen It" motto, install a privacy fence around your scale to keep it out of your sight.

Walking: A Health Hazard?

After weeks of an ongoing discussion about my weight with our dog, ("How big do you think Mommy's going to get before she pops?"), my hubby devised a different tactic to steer me toward weightloss: he cut a walking path through our property.

Excited, (and knowing I have the same directional aptitude as a carpet tack), he offered to walk with me. "We BOTH could use the exercise," he noted. (He's right, of course. I recently celebrated a birthday and, coincidentally, my new age exactly equals the number of pounds I've gained OVER my "fat" weight--you know, the weight I swore I'd NEVER exceed again as long as I'm alive.) Sure. I'll start a walking regime. The trek is a half-mile, so once in the morning and once in the evening puts me at a mile a day.

I started off with him on Morning Number One, walking stick in one hand, Dasani in the other, while "Miss I'm Too Cute and Adorable to Potty Outside" darted back and forth chasing butterflies and sniffing the scent residue from whatever critter lurked across our lawn during the night.

Why the walking stick? No, I'm not (yet) old and decrepit. But Arkansas mornings are not only filled with chirping birds and fluttering butterflies--spider webs loom between every tree. And we live in the woods. I'm not particularly afraid of spiders or snakes, but I detest walking through webs. Yuck! Thus the stick--to slap down webs while I walk.

So, we're off. And sure enough, within minutes a web crossed our path. I raised my stick and gave it a good sideways swing and, with one Freudian slip of the stick, WHACK! It came down across the back of hubby's neck. Oops! (I promise it had NOTHING to do with the Mommy Popping remark.)

Proof that walking is hazardous to your (spouse's) health.

(Sorry, Sweetheart!)

8 Simple Rules for the Overweight & Underorganized

1. Never give birth to a psychology major or you’ll wind up with “behavioral modification” contracts posted on the bulletin board of your home. Something else to ignore.

(Read more at Overweight & Underorganized...)

Health Risk!

Happy Thursday, everyone! Today it's blog day at Overweight & Underorganized.

Here's a preview:

I knew it! Getting organized is dangerous. For some unexplainable reason, a random wave of *gasp* clean-freakiness washed over me yesterday. No, it didn’t simply wash over—it nearly drowned me. Before I realized what was happening, I’d straightened my desk, picked up some piles in the workroom (we can actually walk in there now—that’ll be fun), and trashed enough useless paperwork to raise some eyebrows of the green-planet-people. (But I’m not scared. Bring it, Al Gore!)

read more...

Plan to Plan

One of my friends accused me of fraud. She said anyone up and typing at 6:15 a.m. is NOT underorganized. Okay, so I waited until 7:15 to type. Or at least 7:10.

It's not that I'm organized or anything...it's that I own a PUPPY. (Remember Miss "I'm too cute and adorable to potty outside"?) And that little booger's bladder wakes up at 6 a.m. sharp. It's amazing. I regret having whined about her earlier aversion to using the outdoor toilet as I shuffle around, searching for my "outside" shoes--the old comfy slip-ons that don't require bending at such an early hour--while she jumps up and down on the back door in desperation, waiting for me to rub the sleepiness out of my eyes so I can see the door handle. I feel guilt. She must really need outside.

Twenty minutes later she's still sniffing and I'm wishing I would've started the coffee pot before we went on our walk.

So, it's not that I'm ORGANIZED--it's just that I'm awake. Or at least out of bed. In fact, I'm rarely coherent before about 10. This morning, I wanted to comment on a friend's blog (after I poured my first cup of Folgers), and it took me THREE tries to match the little computer gibberish that you have to type to prove you're not a spammer--you know, "word verification." Sidetrack: First of all, I'm not smart enough to know how to spam millions of computers at once. And if I were that smart, I certainly wouldn't waste my time messing with that sort of scheme. And who comes up with those "words," anyway? And why is it called "word verification" when nowhere in any language could that garbled mess be considered a verifiable "word"? This morning, the first one I attempted to match had both a lowercase "j" and an "i" in it, and they both looked exactly alike. Well, I guess one was a "j" and one was an "i." It could have been two "i's" or two "j's" or...who cares? Back to my point: Please don't judge me if my blog posts come before noon. Doesn't mean I'm a fraud!

Oh, and the puppy promptly jumped back into her bed after our walk. Does it every day. She knows better than to attempt life this early!

Actually, I enjoy mornings. God has granted us another day to do our best to bless someone.

So how's it going for you today? I made a list of goals for the week. And, in case I lose the list, I posted it on one of the writing loops I'm on so I can refer to it throughout the week. It's kind of an ambitious list, and it's already Wednesday and I haven't accomplished much of it, but I figure if I set my goals high, even if I don't reach the top, I'll still get a lot done. (Makes sense, right?)

Here's my list:

• Write five sample columns for the column I hope to launch soon.
• Complete the plot step sheet for at least the first section (hopefully
  more) of my novel
• Write a new article for my web site (my goal is one new article per week)
• Post consistently to my blog (goal is at least three entries per week)
• Get pictures of me made so the cartoonist can draw a caricature
• Make a list of items (and start preparing them as time permits) to go in my media kit

Just because I'm not totally organized, doesn't mean I attempt to work without a plan. I might forget to refer to my list (if I can find it), but I still try to make one. Every day. A wise businessman was once asked how a company could turn itself around. He told the management personnel to write a list of everything that needed to be done--even if the list became long and overwhelming. Scratch off the items they completed each day and add others that came up. He said to do this every day consistently for 30 days and it would change their company. He was right. And if we do this every day (yeah, it's hard!), it can change us, too!

Have you made plans this week? The Lord has! Here's a verse to meditate on this week:

11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Have a good one!

My Wish List

At one point I decided if I could only have four things--just four--my life would be complete. Those four things were: a maid, a chauffeur, a secretary, and a cook. And while I'm wishing here, I'll go ahead and add personal trainer to the list. I mean, most celebs look great and they all have one. Why not me? I daydream that once my wish list is fulfilled, I'll have time to get organized, write, exercise, and do all the things I not only want to do, but need to do yet have put off. Well, I've been "blessed" with the chauffeur part anyway. Two of them. The bad part about waiting to have kids until you're nearing the 30 mark is that you'll have to teach them to drive during your heart attack years. Today they're past the learning stage (so THEY think) and each have cars. (Well, one car is much older than they are. Daughter just got a new "college car" for her high school graduation present.) Now I'm saved from running them to football, band, basketball, quizbowl, church youth activities, and whatever else they come up with. PLUS...the big bonus with quadrupling my insurance payment by adding two teenage drivers is that I'll never have to go to Wal-Mart again. Unless of course, I want to! And lately, my request for a personal trainer has been granted--in a way I would have never expected. My newspaper delivery person must have caught wind of my wish list because every morning when I get to the office, the paper is farther from the door than it was the day before. I'm nearly working up a sweat just walking to get my paper every day. Wow! Who would've thought sitting in a chair, drinking coffee, and browsing through the news could burn so many calories.

So now all I need to fulfill my wildest dreams is a maid, a secretary, and a cook. But my mother always said, "Be careful what you wish for--it might come true!"

What's working for you today? Are you more organized? In better shape?

I've noticed several of my writerly friends post updates on their blogs of their goals, so I'll start doing that too. It's a good way for me to stay accountable and maybe even encourage someone else.

Here goes:

Overweight: Umm...I walked a lot last week. Went to the zoo, and then to a youth leadership convention at the Opryland Hotel for four days, which is good for about 3 miles a day to the average guest. But since I've been home, nada. I've been working on drinking more water every day. I'm at about 4 glasses a day now. We quit buying sodas for home, but I've still been stopping by the convenience store and picking up my morning Dr. Pepper every day. :( Oh, and I drank a SlimFast for breakfast today instead of skipping and munching out at 10 cuz I'm starved. (Well, it's not 10 yet, so we'll see on that one...)

Underorganized: I guess the thing I've been putting off the most is writing. I mean, I write e-mails, day-job stuff, newspaper articles as needed for my job & community, but my poor novel is suffering. The characters recently revolted and started banging against the sides of my brain wanting out, so I have to make time to work on that project until either it's done or they drive me nuts. I made friends with an accountability partner from a writer's group I'm in. She gave me an assignment of 500 words on my Work in Progress, or WIP, (actually, I have about 17 works in progress, but I picked one to finish first!), and I wrote 670 words yesterday. Maybe the characters will leave me alone for a while now. I doubt it!

Pluggin’ Away

As I said yesterday, even if I have nothing to say, I'm working on consistency, which is a HUGE problem in my life. Therefore, I'm writing to say good morning, and that last night I read the introduction to the Weigh Down Diet book that a friend loaned me. Hopefully I'll have more to say soon, but I've let myself be nearly drawn & quartered and need to bring my focus back on my health and food/exercise choices. Are you struggling today? Is it getting better? Share your thoughts with us!